self reflection

delving deep into the past and realizing specific moments which shaped my personality/character today. self reflection is key

I had always been a very quiet, shy kid growing up. I was this way all throughout my early years, and through elementary school. I like to consider myself as an outgoing introvert; shy if you don’t know me, but won’t shut up if you do, or if I get too comfortable.

So, I moved onto Smith Middle School in Troy, Michigan. I was in 7th grade. I had always wanted to fit in, and I really liked the kids at our school. They were very innocent and sweet people for the most part, as you would kind of expect before the general onset of drugs and alcohol into the equation.

I wrote this because of a specific, short period of time in my life that I found upon reflecting on my past, which I find to be detrimental.

I had gotten close with some of the ‘cooler’ guys in the 6th grade through basketball and soccer. John Berti, David Cheruvil, & David Wunderlich. I began feeling more comfortable around them which lead to an overall level of comfortability around school.

I remember one day in class, we were about to start a movie. Science class, to be more specific. A couple of the guys and a girl that I secretly had a crush on moved across the class to sit with me. I was shocked to say the least, but never felt happier. Something like this had never happened to me before.

I slowly started to become a ‘class clown,’ but not in a douchebag type of way. I didn’t make fun of any other students, or make inappropriate remarks. I would just take opportunity when presented and make silly comments, and my teachers began to love me as well. They would often smile as the class would burst out laughing.

I remember, the girl I had a crush one best friend began talking to me a lot. The friend of Haylee (Hailee, sp?) Comet. Sounds like such a Disney character type of name.. Maybe that attracted me towards her even more lol. I don’t know, but word started getting around that her best friend ‘liked’ me. I had never been in this type of situation. I was still my normal self around her and was becoming good friends with Haylee as well.

Then we moved. From Troy to Sterling Heights. I didn’t realize at the time how big of a situation this was. I was just excited to be moving to a house. We lived in a small townhouse at the time, so having my own room was a huge deal to me.

But, everything started over for me. I was extremely shy and anxious. Although I did eventually befriend some of the guys/girls, I never really got into the groove I had previously. I never completely fit in. I didn’t grow up with these people, as they all did. I didn’t experience elementary, middle school, memories with them. That is a bond that is tough to replace. I had it previously, but not anymore.

I believe things would have turned out differently in my life had I never moved from comfort to different. But I believe it was for a reason, God always has a plan.

Just thought I would share this story, and encourage you all to do some self reflection of your own; you may find answers to questions you never even knew you had. 🙂